Stolen
I feel you.
Any time. Anywhere.
Just by closing my eyes.
I feel you.
Your hair. Your eyes.
Stolen.
Your touch.
Your hands.
So cold.
I feel you.
Your smell.
So sweet.
So warm.
So happy.
So sad.
I feel you.
Just by closing my eyes.
Or with my eyes open.
I feel you.
I shouldn't.
I feel you.
I'm crazy.
I'm broken.
I'm saved.
More harm, oh, please!
I feel you.
About my father
My father passed away on November 29th.
He died of lung cancer and his last days of life were full of pain. Also he was not totaly on his senses, as the brain, along the rest of his body, showed the effects of the oxigen reduction.
I was not there to see it, working about 500 kilometers from my home town. My sister tells me it is for the best: I will not have to live with the memories of those painfull days. But I do not think I will be able to forgive myself for not being there.
Last week my sister, who is now on medication because of the psychological trauma, told me the last words she heard from him. He said he wanted the pain to end, he could not cope any longer.
Yet he was strong. In the last months of his life, he was the one supporting my mother. She was seeing him slowly dying, and he reassured her, told her everything was going to be fine, did not allow the disease to bend his will.
In the end not enough oxigen was reaching his brain, his last days he was a little out of his mind.
But I did not see it.
My sister may tell me it was for the best, but I still feel a little shame for it.
Mordor interviews Mordor
Greetings Mordor. Thank you for giving us this chance to talk.
Greetings.
I will go straight to the point. Is it true you are returning to the blogosphere?
Yes indeed. I need to do something creative outside work And I thought retaking this blog was a good idea.
I noticed most of your blog entries have dissapeared. How?
Well. Right now I feel more likely to share this blog address with people that knows me in real life. I am not sure I will do it, but it is more of a possibility than it was last time. And quite a lot of entries reffer to past episodes in my life I would best keep hidden.
It is a pitty. One of the best (or least bad) things about your blog was its sincerity.
I must concur. But, as I said, there are a lot of things I prefer to keep secret. By the way, the entries have not been removed, they have just been hidden. Maybe I will change my mind, but most probably it would require a change in identity before.
OK. I how you will change your mind. But I want to ask you about some things that are no longer in your blog. If yo do not want to reply I will understand.
Go ahead.
First of all, do you still ahve trouble with your DSL service?
No. Mainly because I have cable now. And cable is going well.
Do you still play World of Warcraft?
Like crazy. Even more after the recent expansion.
And what about you-know-who?
Well. I'd prefer to refer to her as she-who-is-not-to-be-named. Bad. Pain. Broken delusions. Hurt. She is still beautifull, charming, intelligent. But she is not for me, I am 99,9% percent sure of it. She is for almost everybody else, but not for me.
Anybody else out there?
Yes and no. Sadly, she-who-is-not-to-be-named is still the woman that attracts me more, although there are a couple other women I would like to know better.
Your "Big Therapy"? Are you still taking Prozac?
No. I am taking another-antidepressant-I-do-not-remember-the-name-of and Risperdal, an anti-psychotic. And no, I am not psychotic; it is a very low dosis to keep the anti-depressant from making me aggressive. And I am still going to my psychologist. It is a slow and painfull process, but I think we are going somewhere.
Well, I think this covers almost everything. Thank you so much for attending yourself.
It is me the one who needs to thank myself for giving myself this chance to speak.
I am addicted
| Totally addicted You are 86% Addicted! |
| When the server's down, its like the end of the world. You check your auctions before going to work, you love the game and everything it involves. Remember that other game called real life? Its not any fun, anyway! Keep it up! And remember, its just a game, but its the best game ever! |
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| My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The World of Warcraft Addiction Test written by survivedestiny on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Interesting article
It is hard to find an unbiased Linux vs Windows text. This is not completely unbiased, it tries to defend the first against another article defending the later. But I like it because the facts in it are hard to deny keeping a hard face.
Windows vs. Linux? It's Apples and oranges by ZDNet's Marc Wagner -- The Windows vs. Linux debate comes down to three factors: Expertise, expertise, expertise. Sooner or later, someone will displace Microsoft.
Arleigh Burke
This is a story I came across last weekend seeing a documentary in the History Channel. I think it is enlightening.
The story is about the person, not the Aegis guided missile destroyer class.
Arleigh Burke was born in 1901 and graduated in the United States Navy Academy in 1923. His first assignment was in the Battleship Arizona. He later was assigned to different roles and went on getting promoted.
As maybe you have heard already, on December 7th the Japanese Imperial Navy launched an air-to-ground attack on the ships docked in the Pearl Harbour in the island of Oahu. The BB-39 Arizona was counted among the ships sunk or disabled.
What maybe you have not heard is that
- The commander in chief of the Imperial Navy, Isoroku Yamamoto, was against the war: he thought Japan could to win a long war against the huge industrial power of the United States
- it did not accomplish its ultimate goal, which was sinking the three aircraft carriers of the Pacific Fleet of the U.S. Navy (which were off-shore, searching for the Japanese fleet)
- it was not the important attack of that day for the Japanese. Their main attack was against the U.S. bases in the Filipines. That was intended to be also in December 7th morning, but had to be postponed until the afternoon due to meteorology.
But all that is another story. I was speaking about Arleigh Burke.
At the time of the attack against Pearl Harbour, Burke was grounded in the Naval Gun Factory. He took the news about the sinking of the ship he had been assigned to first very bad. He asked to be assigned to a combat position.
He then led several destroyer squadrons, including Destroyer Squadron 23, nicknamed "Little Beavers", which fought in Bougainville. His fighting was ruthless, brave and effective; he earned the nickname "31-Knot Burke" due to the very fast speeds at which he ordered his ships to operate.
He hated the Japanese. During that time, he is credited with telling his unit that any means to kill Japanese was good.
He was later appointed as Chief of Staff in the Task Force 58, which included .
The war came to an end.
Burke was then assigned to the occupation forces in Japan. He met some of the Japanese Imperial Navy officers he had fought against and befriended them.
When the new Japanese Constitution forbid the nation from having any offensive force, Burke helped forming the Japan Maritime Self Defense Force. For this, he was awarded the most important medal in Japan, the Grand Cordon of the Order of the Rising Sun with Paulownia Flowers (better look here).
He commanded Cruiser Division Five in Korean War and, in 1955, became Chief of Naval Operations until his retirement on 1961.
What I find interesting is something that happened after his death.
Admiral Arleigh Burke died on 1996. As for his request, the man who had said that any means to kill japanese was good, was buried in the U.S. Navy Academy at Annapolis with only one decoration: the aforementioned Grand Cordon of the Order of the Rising Sun with Paulownia Flowers.